When past failed to grow , but mark you , you simply must learn to look at your mistakes then or agonizing moments as steps, not as obstacles. It is a change of perspective that helps you integrate what you have lived – for a new beginning, not to detach yourself from everything (friends, your own being , its own life , even ) by isolation . The change of perspective is seeking to replace the usual lamentation phrases with phrases that give us a healthy perspective . The only way you can overcome negative emotions like regret , frustration, self-pity , stillness … is to live honestly, not to repress them , denial or give them dominion over you by accepting permanent inability to forget them .